Friday, July 31, 2009


Dear Love,
You could have told me
You were going to take your life...
I would have taken it,
if it were up for the taking.
I would have placed it
in a robin's nest in the day
Where butterflies play below
And skies above pass peacefully.
At night, I would have taken you in,
And kept the warm light on,
Never to let darkness touch you again.
It is true. It is true.
Now you know it is true.
I was always ready to catch you,
When you grew tired of falling.

It was morning when you left.
Lying on the tracks,
You saw the sky of the new day
But still, you did not pick yourself up.
Your heart was adorned
With the love laurels of many,
But, still, you did not pick yourself up.
Free will was granted you,
All through the days of your life,
But, still, you did not pick yourself up.

It was morning when you left
Now each morning tears you further from us.
yet love cares not of time or distance.
And though you have yanked your flower from the roots,
It blossoms still in every heart that loves you.

I am in no hurry to grieve
Since the urgency of hoping is over.
A slow sadness
Spreads through the rest of my days.
Because there will be no forgetting of this love,
Only disconsolation, again and again,
When my heart remembers you.

I am here.
I am still here.
Where are you?

We are here.
All those who love you, are still here.
Where are you?

At your funeral I described you as Defiant and difficult and proud (among other things).
Well, I am also defiant.
In answer to your dying, I will live stronger. I will give this love, you left with me, to those with the courage to live. I invite you to haunt me. Perhaps you will learn the positive power of free will. Perhaps you will understand more fully, the value of this miracle gift of life... as I have come to understand it to new depths through you.


  1. Thank you Jen. This is beautiful.

  2. What an incredible poem - gorgeous and gut-wrenching. Thank you so much for posting it.

  3. The fire of your grief has burned everything away save the truth, in your language.